Why?

I met you a little over a year ago. We exchanged numbers. Talked incessantly. Grew closer and closer. I had you within my grasp. You gave me hope. You made me feel like someone for once; like maybe, just maybe I could be happy.

And then you broke me.

I still think about you. I still wish it would have worked and I still want to see you. As much as you've hurt me, if you came back into my life, I'd never deny you. You don't deserve it but I'm a sap for love and I could never imagine pushing you away. I loved you dearly and I wanted to make you happy; more than happy, really. I just wanted to show you how love worked. What it really meant to LOVE someone.

It's 4:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I long for love and I long for companionship but I just can't seem to find it. I'm too picky. I'm too "cute." I'm too much of a romantic. Shut the hell up. I'm not changing; I'm sorry I have a heart. Maybe that's why you cut me off. You couldn't imagine being with someone with a heart; someone who could honestly do something for you. I hate you for ruining a lot of things for me. I can't stop thinking about you and haven't ever stopped thinking about you. Please...just get out of my head. I just want you to feel the anguish that I went through after chasing you for a year of my fucking life. I wasted so much time and energy on you-and for what? Absolutely nothing. Fuck you for making me look like a fool. Fuck you. Fuck off and die you piece of trash. You're not worth the time of day.

I love you.